Heavier Things

So, I haven't blogged in over a week. I had plans of a giveaway (which you can now enter here), a guest blog post, and an update after the Toyota Texas Bass Classic. Unfortunately, I went through a little thing called a breakup this week and it put all of that on hold.

I didn't know what I wanted to write or share with y'all. It's awkward, I wanted to tell people, but I have a hard time managing the "I'm sorry" that comes after. I was really sad (for about a day), but decided that I've cried WAY TOO MANY TEARS over this boy, and honestly, he's not worth it.

Tyler and I have been through a lot because we've been friends for so long, but we had never actually dated. Last February when he and I decided to date, I thought it was because both of us had finally reached a point where we were ready to give the relationship a fair chance. I believed that he and I both wanted to make this work, despite the distance, and despite the hurt we've both caused each other in the past. APPARENTLY I was wrong. Tyler told me this week that he wanted "easy and carefree - without so much commitment" I'm sorry, but I've never heard "easy" and "long distance" used in the same sentence. When you decide to date long distance, you know it's going to take work, and commitment.

I settled during this relationship, and put up with a lot of things I shouldn't have, because of an idea I had in my head of who Tyler was. I wanted him to be this ideal person so badly, but in reality he isn't, and I'm glad I'm not settling any longer. We disagree on a lot of things, such as the value of a college education, or the role a female plays in a marriage. I lied to myself and said that these issues didn't matter, but really, you need to share the same values as the person you're with. This is the foundation that will help the two of you make decisions throughout the relationship, and maybe for the rest of your life.

I know how I want to be treated, and how I deserve to be treated. I want a man who treats me as a priority in his life, someone who values me, and our relationship. I deserve a man who will be there to support me. The past two months have been some of the hardest in my life, and even though I was dating Tyler, I've felt alone. I want someone to laugh with, someone to be my best friend, and my biggest fan. Most importantly, I want someone who I can trust, who isn't selfish and will be there through the good AND the bad.

I share all of this so y'all know what's going on, but PLEASE don't feel bad for me. I'm happy and I know someone who is perfect for me will come along one day. Until then, I plan on enjoying the moment.

Let's end this post with some breakup humor shall we?! For all my single ladies...
someecards.com - I can't get over how much I can get over you.
someecards.com - I'd like to go out with you, but I'm not ready for a serious relationship with an asshole.
someecards.com - This has been great, but I think I'll go back to doing whatever I want all the time.
and in the words of my girl T-Swift "we are never ever ever, getting back together!"
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25 comments :

bailey j said...

you rock. you have the best break up attitude of any girl i've ever known. seriously! i know its dumb to say but seriously - you go girl! lol

Vicki said...

That's an amazing attitude you have!!! You should never settle. Everyone deserves true happiness, and if it wasn't right, walking away is the best decision!!!!

Shauna said...

Great job on not settling! We only have one life and we need to make it what we want!

LAUREN said...

that's an amazing outlook that you have. i've been through rough breakups before and it takes time, but that's just it. time is on your side!

Katie Seller said...

You are WAY better without him! Do you and live your life! Don't worry about him anymore or wasting your time! Embrace like girl!!!!
ps... NEVER SETTLE!
www.losethecushion.com

Nilda said...

I think every girl going through a break up needs to read this post. You are so strong. And So RIGHT. Girls should never ever settle. Keep on being awesome!

Kelsey Lenay said...

I can relate so much! My boyfriend of 3 years decided, out of nowhere, to text me, DRUNK, from a bar, and say "lets breakup". Long story short, he graduates college in April and just doesn't see marriage for us (he has told me many times he did plan on marrying me), but I guess now he just doesn't see it. To top it off, I was told I did nothing wrong, and without trying to sound conceded, I was literally as good as a girlfriend as they come. With that being said, I put up with way too much, allowed him to do things that probably most girls wouldn't and settled. I feel heartbroken, and like I am missing something. But, there's a part of me that is trying to think positive, and trying to imagine a real prince charming sweeping me off my feet. Thanks for your post girly, it definitely made me feel a bit better! : )

XO, Kelsey

Empirically Erin said...

I am so happy you didn't settle!! Life is too short to settle and to allow others to treat us like we are nothing. And you're right, there is someone out there who is perfect for you and when you find him, you'll laugh at yourself for ever thinking other guys would be right for you. Go enjoy the single life, girl!!

Raquel said...

You go girl, say it right! You are way better than him and deserve so much more! The right person will always come in time :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Bri. You are an awesome and amazing young lady! You deserve and will find a great guy who will take great care of you and be an amazing partner for you. You have so much to offer and you will find a partner who shares the sames values and faith as you and where you will both help each other become the very best person that you can be. I would love to date you, sweep you off your feet and benefit from everything you have to offer but Mom might have an issue with that. Love. Dad

Alyx said...

Bri, I'm not going to tell you I'm sorry. Because you know what? I'm not. You DO deserve better. If I'm sorry for anything, it's the fact that you had to go through pain because of him. You know what, though? Change that little bit of pain to happiness, and multiply it by like, 1000000, and that's how happy you'll be when you do finally find the right guy. You're right - that stuff IS important, and it's values like that where you shouldn't have to settle. I mean, the toilet seat? Yeah, you can settle there (although Mike always puts it down, and I think it's one of my favorite things about him). Or leaving dirty socks all over the place? That's another place where it's okay to settle.
You know where it's not okay to settle, and I'm glad you stick to that, even if it causes you a little bit of temporary pain. You're so right - settling is not worth it - ever.
Things will get better - heck, it sounds like they already are. It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to cry occasionally, and it's okay to mope a little bit.
You're awesome and strong, and I know that you will find someone so much more deserving of you, someone who is willing to put in just as much work (or more) to keep you by his side. Because that's what you deserve.

Lindsey said...

I went through something very similar with my ex boyfriend of 4 years. When I met the man who is now my husband, I realized how much I had seriously lowered my standards for my ex...its amazing how that happens! Good for you! You will find someone amazing

tara said...

break ups always suck, but you seem to have an amazing attitude about it and i'm sure mr right will end up coming along right at the perfect time!

Darby Hawley said...

ugh breakups stink! I'm sorry Bri that you've had to go through this experience but I'm so glad that you're ready for the next chapter and looking forward to it! I can't wait to give you a big hug tomorrow because I'm so proud of you!

Paige said...

Well you are awesome and definitely deserve someone that will treat you the way you are meant to be treated! You go girl! :)

Heather K. said...

Your dad's comment was so sweet. Sounds like something my dad would say. Good dads.

All that aside, I couldn't agree more. We girls are complicated creatures, yes, but we also know what we want and when we have the veil removed, we will do what we have to, to get it. Not in a "I'm gonna run over you" kind of way... but a "I'll make this really easy for you" kind of way.

-Heather
{heatheringheights.com}

Nyla said...

It's nice to share that kind of stuff cause I think a lot of girls have simular problems.... I did! Till I meet my current boyfriend. We've been together for 5 years now and I would have never expected that I could have such an amazing relationship!

Eesh said...

I love how strong you are and the fact that you've realized that you are far better without him. I wish other women were as strong as you are including myself.

xx

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

Big, big hugs! Breakups suck!!!

Anonymous A said...

Sending cyber-hugs!! Even breakups with a-holes still hurt.

Kari said...

Ugh...damn breakups!! But good for you for not settling and having a great attitude about it!

Amy said...

Aw girl I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been through my fair share of break ups, and they are never fun. But like you said, that feeling of being happy on your own again and realizing that you deserve WAY better, it feels AMAZING to finally get there again. So glad to hear you're doing well :) Cheers to us single ladies here in Blogland!

Whitney said...

This is exactly why I love you Bri. You are so strong and caring and I absolutely love it. You can do way better!

Kasey Lynne said...

I'm sorry to hear that you went through a breakup, but it definitely sounds like you're WAY better off. Keep your chin up and KNOW that you deserve the things that you want and believe in. No one should hold you back from that.

Alex said...

Good for you!! We all deserve AMAZING, and I have no doubt that you'll find it. Way to be positive :)

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